Wow, fierce competition (joke).
Bid terms are negotiable.
(give this at least three sentences; if you're not the least bit interested, by then, you can stop reading).
I have basically no experience with writing sales copy. What I have, however, is understanding of how things work. I know how to pick out the most important things, with a product, and brain storm all the ways in which the product could benefit the customer. So, what I do, in the process of creating the sales letter, is I focus on the absolute most important things; and, through full focus on these, completely disregard the other stuff (like negatives). So, it's not manipulation - like 99.9% of all sales pages - yet it's persuasive (but naturally so; since who would, in their right minds, say no to real benefits?).
If you doubt this method - as far as selling goes - you shouldn't; as it has been adopted by one of the best Direct-response copy writers (forget his name; but he's a colored person). What he does is, he plainly lets the product speak for itself; and, because there's no manipulation going on, at the same time as he has 100% focus on telling the reader about the benefits of it, it's pretty difficult to just close the window. So, there you are - stuck reading; WITHOUT being told to do anything or being brainwashed.
I'm actually not an english speaking native; but, as I think you can tell, my english skills are pretty good anyway. So, rewriting your stuff wouldn't be a problem.