Design a Facebook landing page

Im looking for someone to create and design a facebook account. set up the entire thing. the account. the settings. the home page and then hand it over to me. I hate facebook and I don't want to deal with any of it. I sell adult DVDs and sexual wellness items, but obviously there cannot be any inappropriate contect. i can provide images as you need them or in one big batch for you to use to create the page. I want a good looking homepage. nothing basic that I could do. I also don't want people to be able to contact me personally through the page. i hate facebook so I don't want old friends finding me and trying to contact me through the page. so whatever settings that control that need to be set up.